losing my mind?

yup, i think i may be losing my mind. i am voluntarily going out on the sunday after thanksgiving and going shopping. what the heck am i thinking?

so, friday and saturday were good shopping days at the yarn shop. lots of business, some orders that i need to send in on monday :-)  i'm quite pleased with it actually.

today, we are headed out to a few stores to look for christmas-y type stuff and then the plan is for a mid-afternoon lunch at olive garden. the whole family is going, and most scary of all, i'm actually looking forward to this.

i'm not taking my diuretic today, which would be a day that i should (it is prescribed every other day for swelling as needed), because i sort of think that it is causing my swollen tongue. this is my latest, greatest issue that is going on. my tongue is regularly feeling too large for my mouth. i suspect that it is actually too large for my mouth because my molars on the left side of my mouth are rubbing a raw spot on the side of my tongue. which undoubtedly makes it more swollen which probably makes my tongue rub on my teeth more. a never ending cycle so far. at any rate, apparently this is a possible allergic reaction to lasix, so i'm going to not take it today, and then tomorrow i'll call my GP and see if she can suggest anything, since my onc is out of town til at least tuesday.

additionally, i have a whole lot of bruises on the fronts of my legs. i imagine that is is the result of my low platelet count, but perhaps not. it's really hard to know until i talk to my onc.

my hair continues to get thinner, altho it started so thick that it is now really "normal" looking, which for me feels incredibly thin. it's regularly disturbing tho because of the sheer amount of hair loss.

oh i forgot to tell you all how impressed i am with my GP. i said that i had called her at 6am on thanksgiving--and she talked to me. and helped reassure me that i was probably going to be ok in spite of the amazing amount of blood. better tho, she called me about 10 to make sure that i was ok. and suggested that i pass on the lasix while i was menstruating because it makes me light headed a bit, and that the blood loss might also. for someone who has had me in her office exactly twice, she is a truly lovely and caring person. need a GP in rapid city? go to her. she's amazing.

i'm going to call a dr onc in north carolina tomorrow and see if i can get in to see him sometime in early jan. preferably. that should give us time to get a plane ticket at a decent price (i'll be looking into the possibility of someone helping pay because it's for a dr.--there's several programs that do such things). additionally, as much as i need to go to a specialist for my own sanity, i also need to try to make my kid's lives as normal as possible, and anything sooner than january won't do that.

so my morning routine is sort of bizarre lately. i spend a lot of time running to the bathroom. gleevec is wreaking havoc on my digestive system, so i visit the bathroom probably 8 times every morning....it isn't unbearable, just inconvenient. and it makes me glad that i work for myself, since it would be hard to hold a job like at the library working reference desk or teaching with this kind of situation. i can't wait when i have to go. i do wonder how people in this situation handle things when they are out teaching or whatever. i feel really blessed that i don't have to do that right now.