yeah. not so much. the things that i have come to rely on in my life. they're gone. or different. or impossible. and what's left often seems not worth doing. i'm not sure how to keep being this way. i'm not sure i want to be this way.
the drug holiday thing? yeah, i'm still having side effects. still edema. i do have more energy. and less fatigue. but instead i have a thousand bruises. every new thing i do bruises me more. yesterday i bruised my hands trying to break yarn. i could hardly break it and it left nasty marks. my hands are a mess of bruises as are my arms and legs.
unfortunately, so is my soul. there are things that have been done and said that can't be undone or unsaid. i can't unhear them. and i don't know how to be me inside of my life anymore.
i can't keep doing this.
Hugs & Prayers!
ReplyDeleteLove You!