on being a pilgrim

Deciding to walk the Camino has changed my life already in ways i have difficulty explaining. i have more energy. I’m waking up earlier. Doing more every day. Feeling like there is purpose to my life that I think I had given up on having. And more...

People want to talk about, and I’m not sure what to say. I decided on a whim. I think that emotionally I need a symbolic thing that will show that I am changing my life. Being diagnosed with cancer created hopeless feelings in me, about all the things I could not do. All the life changes I would have to make. I allowed it to make too many of my decisions for me.... I’m finding already that I feel differently. That I have more hope, more energy, more of a life. The symbolism of walking, of going on pilgrimage is changing how I feel about my cancer, and how I feel about my life. 

I’m trying to plan what to take.... just not sure yet.

I’m also trying to plan how to do my kickstarter. I’m working on what to my patrons for various levels of support. Do you have any suggestions? My thoughts so far:

1.     A rock from the Camino (it’ll be small)

2.     Postcards from the walk

3.     Personal letters in persona from the walk

4.     Carrying tokens (that don’t weight much) for other people on the walk and leaving them in towns along the way… (I’m thinking maybe I’ll carry an item  for $1/mile—that would mean I’d carry an item all the way for $500)

5.     Bringing said token back (for another $500)

6.     I’m going to take apart one of the outer dresses and make it into pilgrim pouches to gift to patrons

7.     I’m going to do the kickstarter to create an ebook about my experiences both in persona and not—some patrons will receive free ebooks

8.     Access to a “private” blog

what to take on a pilgrimage

i'm not a list maker. at all. but in about 345 days i want to be on the Camino. i need to plan. mostly because weight matters.

1. 3 under dresses
2. 2 over dresses
3. a wool hood/capelet thing-y
4. leather bag
5. socks--hand knit or commercial?
6 bicycle shorts to avoid chafing
7. modern undies
8. camera
9. cell phone
10. a passport (i need to get one pronto)

?????

Buen Camino

so... it's been months, and that's partly for lots of reasons. i'm trying to quit concentrating on this disease i live with, and just live. things are going ok. and side effects suck.

BUT: i've made some decisions lately and you should know about them. about a year ago i caught the tail end of a Rick Steve's show about Spain that talked about the Camino de Santiago. for those of you who don't know, i'm a pretty committed re-creator of the middle ages, particularly the 12th century. and the discussion was that people who walk the Camino (a 480 mile pilgrimage from a French border town, across the Pyrenees into Spain and then most of the way across Spain) walk through tiny towns that have existed since the 12th century. that 12th century people walked the Camino. and i got enthralled.

so, for the last year i've been reading and seeking information about the Camino, thinking "some day..."

then about 2 weeks ago i got a hair-brained idea. to do it. not wait for someday. walk it. start training now. so, i've started walking. i'm out of shape and fat. but i'm walking. i'm making plans. dreaming. and working toward making my dream come true.

this walk.... i intend to walk away from my diagnosis. i'm going to keep treating my disease of course, but i need the symbolism i think. the symbolism of a pilgrimage. and the dreaming and planning. when i got diagnosed i allowed my disease to make entirely too many decisions about my life. i get to make the decisions. this disease? i have it. it does not have me. i will not allow it to dictate me life. i'm living with it... not allowing it to live me.

so, i'm debating whether to change the name of this blog, start a new one, exactly what to do. what do you think?