change sometimes hurts

so, the day that i was diagnosed and sent to the cancer care clinic i met a lovely young woman who does blood draws at the cancer clinic. today i'm having a hard time remembering her name, but first she acted horrified on my behalf, because when i arrived i had bruises, big ones, in the bend of each elbow, and blown blood vessels in both hands. i remember her saying "what did they DO to you?" for months now, she and i have met over a vial of my blood, chatting about how her day is, how mine is, etc.

she is really good. in 9 months she has never EVER had to stick me more than once. she never leaves a bruise. it never hurts. for a while there i threatened to refuse to let the other lady draw blood. the other lady is more experienced and actually trained my friend, but she regularly leaves a bruise, sometimes a big one, and often forgets to draw extra blood. (in this cancer clinic they draw extra blood in case extra tests are ordered, so they don't have to stick you more than once a day).

anyway, so i went in this morning for my blood draw. i hadn't seen my friend (i think her name is either Elizabeth or Jessica or something like that--a longish traditional name) in several weeks. i'm not there as much. anyway... i said "i haven't seen you in forever" when she called my name. and she responded "i have good new and bad news all in one sentence. i have a new job." the very thought makes me cringe. i'm thrilled for her. i'm sure that she is "moving up in the world" and she deserves that. she is excellent at her job. BUT that leaves me without her. a constant. a stable bit of my life that wasn't going to hurt if i happened to be there on her day.

she was training her replacement. a young man. very nice. he was actually taking notes. it made me feel good. she said "Rita has good veins, they're just teeny, tiny." that was nice to hear. everyone usually tells me i have "bad veins." apparently they aren't bad. they don't typically blow. the vacutainers just don't work because they put too much suction on the vein and it collapses immediately and doesn't allow any blood out. it explains why i used to bleed heavily every time they pull the needle out, even tho they didn't get any blood into a tube. so, he took notes, and she explained where there was a "good vein" and which butterfly needle to use to get blood.

i'm hoping. but if this goes badly i may show up on her door step for my blood draws. hope she doesn't mind. that's what happens when you are good at your job. you become indispensable. i hope she knows how much she is appreciated. i think i need to knit something for her. :D

that donate button

i had a blood test today, everything is normal in the normal counts, but i haven't gotten back the bcr-abl test results yet. we'll see. if the numbers go up we'll be looking at more testing in case i have developed a new mutation that didn't show up before. i'm hoping that just isn't the case.

today, i'm exhausted again. lately that's happening a lot. i'm learning to live with it, because otherwise i just won't ever get anything done.

i've had a few people ask if they could help out financially... i'm not asking anyone to donate, i'm just offering the option. if you'd like to help out with money--there's a button. feel free. i will appreciate it, trust me. even with most of my drugs etc. paid for, this has been a struggle financially. and in sept. it's going to get worse because i expect my insurance costs to skyrocket.

i'm trying to sell my car. anyone want a 2004 mini-cooper?

the shop is going well. altho this time of year is always slow.

the city is digging up the street in front of my house. erg. and my boulevard. double erg. hopefully it will not extend into actual yard. hopefully.

getting geared up for Handcrafted in the Hills. i'm glad it's retreat. i think i need that.

more in a week when i hear back about my test.