bcr-abl results

so, i got results for my 6 month bcr-abl test (this is the test that tells the %age of white blood cells show the Philadelphia mutation in my blood. the results are not "good" but they aren't precisely bad either. the % a couple of months ago was .08%. (that's really quite good). last week the results were 4% (that's not good, but it is within the margin of error of the test performed). we'll doing another in 6 weeks to see if the trend is going to continue up (that would very bad) or if it was a fluke or the results were actually erroneous. i'll keep you posted.

checkin' in

just checkin' in. nothing new to report health-wise. ahri is growing quickly into a "big" dog. she's starting to get her adult coat. and she's learned to walk reasonably happily on a leash. jeremy and i are taking her (and tuck) for walks a couple of times a day now. it gives me some energy back.

in addition, jeremy and i are starting to play some physically active games on the wii most evenings. Frisbee, bowling, whatever. if i have to stand up and move parts of my body, it's better than sitting and doing nothing. it's quite fun.

i hate daylight savings time. i wish we'd pick a time and leave it there and not switch around.

working on planning out a laurel dress. i need to make a muslin to be sure i really understand how it works. and there will be embroidery. which worries me a bit.

i haven't been to my onc this month yet. i go later in the month. i can't say i miss the blood draw bit, but i do wish i knew what my counts were. it's going to take work to get over relying on that information so much. well, it's a gorgeous day... i'm going to go out in it!

what you hold onto...

it's really strange what you hold onto when you're sick. since i was diagnosed i started to hang onto those blood draw results. knowing that my numbers were normal made me feel safe. made me feel like i could continue to function. suddenly, i don't have those numbers every week. i'm having to adapt. to look again at "how am i feeling" as a way to gauge how i feel. stupid right?

it seems silly to say that i need to actually look at how i feel to decide how i feel. of course i should. but i'd quit. and now i have to move back to that. it's weird to think that i stopped. who does that? and now i regularly don't feel safe because i don't "know" how i'm doing. this is going to take some getting used to.